Saturday, February 20, 2010

There's a stranger behind my reflection in the mirror.....

Suddenly you realize, a stranger is your everything, and with him with you, your can conquer anything. There is a storm of sms's. Your heart does a tango everytime his names flashes on your screen. You move away from your group of friends to answer his call b'coz you don't want the mushiness to embarrass you and you certainly want to flirt in private. There are flowers on every occasion, chocolates at appropriate times, "I love you'" and "I miss you" are the most used phrases of the day. You are allowed to be fashionably late, and his "you're late!!!" is said with tongue in cheek and a smile on his handsome face. All your thoughts revolve around him and you try to make time for other things, which includes your weighty 20 kg books.

The late night bike rides (slow rides, lest the wind will carry your words away) are filled with jests and jokes. There is too much to say, too much of thoughts to transfer and never enough time. You share all, important and miniscule matters. Your success and failures, how you scraped your knee in 10th grade, your first crush, why you worry abour your brother, why you fought with your mum, how you miss your dog. All the tiny details, he has to know. Because you want him to know you. What made and makes you ".you". And when he talks, you not only hear but listen to him. Because "he", you want to "know". The papercut on your index finger is his biggest concern and he remembers it the day after even if you have forgotten. Cooking together is a fun event, shopping was a chance to hold hands. You bake a cake with icing that is so ugly, yet he says, "But it taste so good. Seriously!". When he whips up something in your kitchen and waits like a pup for approval, you state the obvious, "Excellant. Unbelievable!".

Days turn into nights, hot summer nights give way to winter & rain, you live through your exams and mood swings, you slowly move away from your girlish dreams. And the pink screen that you see the world through fades away. The flowers don't come so frequently, the number of fights increases in frequency, some dates are forgotten, cooking becomes a burden. You eat in front of the tv, the conversations are short otherwise barely, drives to work is accompanied by absolute silence from both, with the morning Dj cracking silly jokes. The only friends you have are the ones whom you occasionally chat with on the net. You are on your feet at work the entire day, so many things require your attention there, there are bills to pay and you forget the bread and milk on your way. Falling into a crazy routine, you attempt to make room for him. To your "splitting headache", he says have an aspirin, when you delay he says, "you're late...", he bacomes grim. Your jokes revolve around work, and somewhere between the lines of the scanty conversations, you hope there is still love.

When he starts about his promiscuous friend, you know how is "You won't believe what Rahul......" is going to end. He finishes most of your sentences or else he responds with a "hhmmmm...". When you hit the bed in exhaustion, all you look forward to is some comforting hugging and none of the passionate kissing. The butterflies have flown away to someone else's stomach, maybe a girl's who sees the world through a screen that's pink and her heart flip flops with ectopic beats.

Then, you realize a truth that has been staring at you all along. What you thought love was, wasn't it. What you have now is complex, yet it's simple... it's nothing but a crochet of responsibilities, care, honesty and loyalty made out of a single thread of love.  You don't mind the infrequent flowers because this is a matured silent love that he showers. The "silence" is a verb, an understanding deed, when he knows a wordless comforting time is in need. You wake up everyday, and you make a choice to stay. You make a choice to be with each other, to commit to one another, to commit to this new life you've bulit together. This is where you find your unconditional security. You face your problems and you face your fears, because there is that pair of hands on your back, should you fall. Suddenly you realize that he who was a stranger is now your everything and with him with you, you can conquer anything.


  1. can jus say - lovedddddddd it !!!!!!

  2. :-) thanx babes.... i left u a "msg" on ur "goodbye mr x" post. i know its crazy-long. u take care... cheers!!!

  3. Could you make this a white background ? maybe it could be a little easier on the eyes...

  4. u've put the transition from yuppie love to a mature inexplicably complex yet completely simple
    relationship between 2 people, very well.Kp em flowing! thank God u didnt go into a 'no more blogging' hiatus,phew!:)

  5. The way you versify the nuances and complexity of love is commendable. Good post. Was a pleasure reading it.

    (Just came across your blog somehow. Am glad though, I did...)


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